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Rob's Blog
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Family Life
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Saturday, 14 April 2012 07:11 |
 I don't know if every family undergoes the rigorous examination we have just endured or not. Some years ago we came to the conviction that Jesus wanted us to foster children in our community. We applied to become carers five years ago, and endured a series of almost humorous mishaps (lost paperwork, misplaced files, mistaken rejections). Then our local manager, Peter made contact asking why we had not finished the training. So we finished it, filed the reports again and booked in three full days of interviews .
Our reviewer, Kirsten was lovely. But she had a herculean task ahead of her. We had to go over our personal histories, our preferences, religious convictions, thoughts on discipline, expectations of foster caring, understanding of culture, the law, emotional damage to children in care... and back to our religious convictions. We were unashamedly Christian and open about our beliefs - which she genuinely seemed to respect .
Centrelink (DOCS) have a "no more than six children in a family" so we're already over the limit. But that does not seem to matter in this region (there's a family in Brungle who have seven of their own and up to three foster care kids at a time). We're finally through "the process", knowing that it's internal keys that unlock external doors. "Access granted, permission denied" until we get our hearts straight. |
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Family Life
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Sunday, 11 March 2012 22:59 |
 Since writing my book 'A Balancing Act' I have largely managed to stay out of hospital. During a trip to Africa in September 2010 however, I contracted amoebic disentry (a kind of bug that affects the gastrointestinal tract) in Zimbabwe. Geoff Roberts was travelling with me at the time and somehow we remained friends! (A testament to Geoff's fortitude and character).
So today I find myself in hospital again. Sigh. It started two days ago with a stitch in my left hand side - which progressively got worse and worse until last night it was unbearable. The doctor took blood tests and did a physical, and the best guess was an enlarged spleen. Cause? We're not sure. Could be a blunt trauma (did I fall over playing squash last Tuesday?) Might be an infection.
Time in hospital does give you a chance to be alone a lot and think. I've been reading Job 18,19 (he suffered way more than I did and maintained a great attitude) and Deuteronomy 30 (where Moses offers relationship for all people with God if they will just do as He commands. Thoughts to reflect on! |
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Family Life
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Monday, 06 February 2012 12:46 |
 This weekend my family trekked up to Parksbourne to my brother's 80 acre farm "Billabong Gap" to celebrate the 50th wedding anniversary of my parents. My brother keeps cattle on the surrounding paddocks, and works in town. My business partner Jaemin Frazer works from the nearby city of Goulburn. If you can imagine an old homestead, extended over the years, with wide windows, green gardens, trellised vines, an orchard, a courtyard with fountain... something lifted from the pages of "House and Garden"
50 years married (and 75 years of age) is nothing to be sneezed at. Try these figures for a start:
- 52% of people who get married end up in divorce.
- 50% of couples married today make their 15th wedding anniversary (26% of all who marry).
- 10% of those couples make their 50th wedding anniversary (2.6% of all who marry).
Indeed we found it remarkable to look at the three sons - each married in their 20th year or beyond, with grandkids ranging from 25 to 5 (12 in all) who are just now coming into the age of marriage themselves. Nobody was saying it was easy. In fact mum and dad's memoirs of their happiest moments over 50 years were often interrupted with stories from the boys about funny and horrible things that had happened to us as we grew up too. (Just ask me why none of the three boys like or drink strawberry flavoured milk anymore after a long car trip one summer). All in all it was a wonderful time of family and celebration. |
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Family Life
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Wednesday, 11 January 2012 12:55 |
 Twice today I was told, by two different people, that I needed to do something more frequently than I had been doing. There was a certain baseline expectation I had which, given time constraints and business, had slipped longer than expected. Today I learned that my frequency wasn't even close to what was needed.
In the first place I was rotating and replacing tyres. It's standard practice to move tyres from front to back to get more even wear. I was expecting once a year and had not done it for fifteen! The tyre guy told me this should be done every six months. Oops. In the second place I was doing a wheel alignment on the front end of the car. I expected to do that every couple of years. The Holden mechanic told me every six months was normal. Oops again. Upon reflection I see this pattern everywhere. Defrosting the freezer (expect every 12 months becomes 2 years and should be every six months). Changing the oil in the ride-on lawn mower (expect every fifteen hours became twenty - should be ten). Oiling the timber deck (expect every eighteen months, has been two years should be done annually).
What's worse is that as my poorly calibrated behaviour doubles the required amount or service the incrimental cost sky rockets! A $50 tyre change over becomes a $400 tyre replacement; a $60 alignment becomes a $400 tyre replacement (second one in three years); a chest freezer that should have lasted twelve years lasts only six; a $15 can of oil becomes a $450 motor replacement; the life of the timber deck without oil is halved from fifteen years to seven in the blazing Australian heat.
My point, along with the desperate importance of regular maintenance, is this: our expectations are often our of whack with reality. We expect things to last longer than they do. We expect intervals to be shorter than they are. We fail to put in the regular small investments required to keep things running. My spirit immediately wanders to relationships, to my prayer life, Bible reading, being present during conversations and a hundred other things like parenting which require much more regular input than we give them credit for. They fail slowly, then suddenly. |
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Family Life
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Wednesday, 07 December 2011 11:10 |
 This evening I met with Jaemin Frazer - who runs the life coaching company I work for three days a week. Jaemin's an amazing guy, who has landed several large contracts with job placement agencies. If you've followed this blog for any time you'd have come across story after story of the kind of people I work with.
The meeting tonight was based on a prophetic word Jaemin received from a mutual friend of ours. This prophet visited him saying, "Do something about the situation with Rob. Go into partnership, work together and get the benefits of synergy, otherwise he will become your competitor." I don't think this warning came because I have any intention of undermining Jaemin - but because opportunities are being given to me.
So the big news is that Jaemin and I have gone into partnership - an arrangement to combine our businesses into one consulting/coaching/training firm that's going places! Over the years I have started a not for profit publishing company, a local church, a partnership trading in tourism, a consulting company and now... a new partnership. I have to say that at 40 I am a lot more circumspect, and perhaps a little less naive than I was before.
Jaemin's wife wisely pointed out that we not call it Frazer Holmes - because that sounds like a building company! So watch this space, but it is likely to be Holmes, Frazer and Associates (or something like that). Sounds like an accounting firm hey? |
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Family Life
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Sunday, 04 December 2011 06:21 |
 Kellie and I drove to Sydney this afternoon, and stayed overnight in Killara. We used to have friends who lived in Lindfield, not far away across the Kuringai-Chase National Park. The reason we stayed here however, was not for old times sake, but rather to come and join the Prophetic Activation School Christmas party - which as luck would have it was at Steve and Mary's house near Mowbray Rd in Artarmon - not a stone's throw away from where Kellie and I both first lived in Sydney.... Nineteen years ago!
PAS was established by Phil and Lorellee Colley to teach people how to hear God's voice and minister to others. A whole bunch of people we know have been through their training. If you are not familiar with it, or Chris Gaborit's school and methods (after which their model is based) I really encourage you to look into it.
Anyway, fun and conversation was had by all, seafood and wine, laughter and story telling... The next morning we met Phil and Lorellee and their grandson Ezekiel for breakfast in Parramatta - once again an old stomping ground. Kel and Iused to live in Denistone, and shop in Parramatta. I held down my second accounting job at a hotel here too. Then the long drive home the next day. The really cool thing about this party was that we got to leave the kids at home. This resulted in Kel and I having ten hours of travel time to can up, which we have not done properly for the longest time. |
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